Can Peace be taught?

I try to take my cues from the children when planning lessons.  They have a way of telling me what is important to them.  One day last week a child came to class wearing a pink anti bullying t-shirt.   One of the children noticed and said:  “Hey he's wearing a pink shirt!”  It was a lovely teachable moment.  I told them that my son has a shirt just like that. We talked about what bullying is and how it can hurt our bodies and our feelings. During circle time I brought out one of my favorite books of all time  entitled Have you filled a bucket today? By Carol McCloud . The book tells us how we all have an invisible bucket that we carry with us and it holds our good feelings.  People fill our buckets by saying and doing nice things.  The book also describes how we can dip from other peoples buckets by doing and saying hurtful things. After I read the book I invited a child to hold a bucket while the other children took turns giving examples of “Bucket filling.”  Some examples they gave were: saying “Hi.”, asking “Do you want to play?” and smiling.  As they gave their examples they put a bean bag in the bucket and they eventually filled up their friends bucket. Another great book is “Do Unto Otters” by Laurie Keller. It gives great kid friendly definitions of words like cooperation, and consideration.  It talks about what it looks like to be friendly and when to say “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me.”  Laurie Keller writes about  this in a fun humorous manner. 

 I learned about the book “Have you filled a bucket today?”  from my son Parker.  He was seven years old at the time. One night after Parker had gone to bed he came downstairs and asked if I would come upstairs to talk.  I went upstairs and  he wrapped his arms around my neck and said “I love you.” Then he said “Do you want me to tell you why I said that?”  I  said “OK” over the lump in my throat and he said: “Because people are like buckets and we fill them up by saying good things.”  I asked him where he learned about filling buckets and he said his principal read a story about it to them.

Parker has autism and before that moment he had never told me that he loved me.  Often children with autism need very direct instructions about what to say or do in a given situation.  It had probably never occurred to him to tell me he loved me even though he felt it. To be fair, it  never occurred to me to tell him that Moms like hearing their kids say “I love you” once in awhile.

Just like we teach our children the alphabet, or numbers or even how to tie their shoes we have to teach them how to live comfortably and respectfully within their families and  community.  Sometimes just our good example is enough and sometimes they need explicit instructions. Have you Filled a Bucket Today? gives very explicit instructions.   ~Ms. Melanie

This month one Lucky winner will receive a copy of, "Have you filled a bucket today" and "Do unto Otters".  Please be sure to leave a comment in the comments section.  The winner will be selected by random draw at the end of the month.  Good Luck!